I Oppose Gay Marriage...

...in the sense that any Church which doesn't want to marry gays shouldn't have to. And in the sense that anyone who wants to mean a union between a man and a women when he says "marriage" should be allowed to speak this way. And should never be made to use an alternative definition for marriage he finds distasteful.

On the other hand, anyone who likes should be able to speak using words differently.

Government should take no position on the issue of what the word "marriage" means, and should fix the tax code and other laws to deal with "legal unions" or "government unions" or something like that, which gays should be allowed to have.

You may think this post actually constitutes an endorsement of gay marriage. I disagree. Because when I read pro-gay-marriage arguments, I find them bad. For example,

It seems to me that if the straight community cannot show a compelling reason to deny the institution of marriage to gay people, it shouldn't be denied.

First this is a fallacy - argument from ignorance.

But more to the point: gay and straight are *different*. As long as many people think the differences are important, there really should be two words. You can't argue "gay marriage" and "marriage" are the same without a term for gay marriage, it'd just be "marriage" and "marriage" are the same. Pretending there is no difference and obfuscating with language won't solve anything.

BTW, it shouldn't be called "gay marriage" b/c that term has baggage. Something new and more neutral should be invented. Like "oathbound" would work. I doubt many people would object to gays becoming oathbound anymore than they object to gays who act married without saying it.


currently, the laws do refer to "marriage", so what is to be done? well, i believe it really doesn't matter much. either way you write the law about marriage you wrong someone. i have no particular position about who should be wronged except to disagree with this one: "obviously the religious bigots should be the ones screwed over". also people who think the answer is "the other people should be screwed", such as Andrew Sullivan, can go to hell.

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this post first got me interested in ARR.

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Romance Meme

i think the worst thing about the romance meme is the criteria for how ppl become romantically attracted to each other. sensible criteria on the matter seem to me things like: current closeness, impressiveness (to you, not in general), interest in person's worldview, shared interests.

one implication of my criteria is that as people became better friends, they would be more attracted to each other. another is not being attracted to someone who's worldview you know nothing about.

the actual criteria are something of a mystery to me. i know appearance is one. i know of the badboy/girl meme. i know people say they want someone "smart, funny, beautiful/hot". i know most people have different taste in friends and lovers (my criteria approximately are what people use for friendship). if anyone understands the romantic criteria better, do comment.

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In July, the U.N. General Assembly declared Israel's defensive fence illegal by a vote of 150 to 6. In defending Israel, America stood almost alone.

there are more than 6 countries in the West. by a bunch. therefore the West is anti-semitic.

and the rest of the world is much worse.

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theory: the way normal conversations *don't* die abruptly, reveals something bad about them. it proves they include mechanisms to continue talking even when no one has anything to say! this can go on so much people have to make excuses/leave to end them.


conversation similar to relationship. once ppl decide there is one, they all of a sudden start acting differently. and there are special rules to end one.

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interesting parallel

"I am wrong" is no better a contribution to an argument/discussion than "I am right" is. "I concede" is no better than "I win".

if the arguments are on the table, either everyone already knows you won/lost/whatever, or they disagree about the result, in which case telling them what it is would be dumb.

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curi42 (4:07:46 PM):
Tell me you love me
Tell me that you're mine again
Tell me you won't turn away
curi42 (4:07:53 PM): it's scary these are approximately synonymous

also scary how common such *possessive* sentiments are

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98 words

Talk about a sentence! source

The influence of example is itself prevalent; but you will probably meet with those who will particularly endeavor to corrupt and incite you to vice; because, as you may yourself perceive, your early attainment to so great a dignity is not observed without envy, and those who could not prevent your receiving that honor will secretly endeavor to diminish it, by inducing you to forfeit the good estimation of the public; thereby precipitating you into that gulf into which they had themselves fallen; in which attempt, the consideration of your youth will give them a confidence of success.

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Language Preferences

Google results for:

"I like girls" - 26,500
"I like men"   - 21,200
"I like women" - 13,500
"I like boys"  -  6,900

I believe this is revealing.

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School Is Like Broccoli

Parents have this broccoli stuff they've decided is Good For You, and make you eat it. They don't listen when you say you prefer steak.

Schools have this Educational Method (including homework, tests, textbooks, lectures, etc) they've decided is Good For You, and they have the Right Answers (which are sometimes wrong), which are also Good For You. They make you eat it. And they sure don't offer steak.

PS you can tell textbooks are worse than real books, because when real people (not students) go to a bookstore to buy something, they don't choose a textbook.

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well, lame. no more summer camp to read. now i gotta wait for next chapter, bleh

so anyhow, if there's so much (*points at posts*) to see in a couple chapters of a porn story, imagine how much is in something better, if you just know how to look.

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We were both so drunk that our conversation had devolved into bad jokes and worse observations about life in general. I suppose we both thought we were being witty and profound, but we were probably just being idiots.

--- calling that "being idiots" shows now-paul (the storyteller) does not identify with his former, drunk self. at the time he liked the convo. it was a perfectly good convo. he's just forgotten he liked it, or doesn't care that *former* he liked it, b/c now-he doesn't like it.

this concept is important b/c most adults don't identify with their former child selves anylonger. most also think they do.

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I feel like getting drunk. It’s not gonna solve our problems, but at least we don’t have to deal with them for a night. Are you up for it?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely,” I said.

--- lovely, abso-fucking-lutely lovely. this is an annoying flaw in our culture.

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I didn’t like how Kendall was treating Gina—they were supposed to be friends. And I knew I’d have to confront Kendall about it, but I really didn’t want to. What had Susan said? Maintaining a relationship is work.

---- supposed to be friends? no, paul wants them to be, cause convenient for him. if kendall doesn't like gina, that's her buisness.

relationship should not be work. argh. should be u do stuff u want to, u both gain, yayness, etc instead ppl try to live out these romantic stereotypes, and the stereotypes include all sorts of crap no1 wants to do or likes, so relationships include all that crap, and become work.


I had two relationships, so I had twice the work. Sometimes, the thought of letting it all slip away was blissfully appealing.


noooooooo. don't do it paul. u gotta be VERY careful throwing things out. baby and bathwater understates it. a couple specs of golddust (with value of gold bricks) in the muddy bathwater is more like it.

also no revolutionary changes. gradual. tho i suppose romantic relationships not really compatible w/ the gradual approach (the memes disallow it).

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Where Gina made an effort to dress up, use makeup, and look nice, Faith didn’t wear makeup at all, and her clothes were usually prudish (she dressed like an eighteen-year-old Nancy Reagan). She was pretty, and she had a nice body, but she didn’t do anything to make herself look more attractive.

---- lovely, Paul thinks ill of girls who don't put on makeup to better be stared at for his pleasure.

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